Top Ten Competition

So here we are at the top ten competition, and I still don’t have a clear favorite. I mean, Legacy’s hot, but I don’t have a favorite, y’know, dancer. Highly unusual for me.

To recap the results show I missed last week due to a highly competitive Uno Attack tournament (which I lost, but I’m pretty sure people cheated), the bottom three couples were Karen and Victor, Mollee and Nathan and Ellenore and Ryan. So I got two out of three. Karen and Victor were eliminated. Fine by me.

But back to the present.

Yes, Cat, the winner will use their prize money to buy shoes. You are exactly right.

Also, I’m starting to think that Cat just looks at what Mary’s wearing and tries to copy it in the trashiest way possible.

Couple One: Contemporary dancer Noelle and ballroom dancer Ryan
Hip Hop with Tabitha and Napoleon
The phrase “What is this garbage?” literally just left my mouth and there’s not even anyone else in the room. Of course, the judges loved it. Wow. I can see that Ryan and Noelle know how to have sex in an office, but can they dance? Nope. It was incredibly sloppy and way too awkward to be sexy. And, no, no chemistry. Also, total rip off of the famous “table dance” in season 3 with Sabra and Neil, choreographed by Mandy Moore. Speaking of Mandy, where’s she been? (Whoops, looking back, I see she was here three weeks ago. But when we see some choreographers twice a show [I’m looking at you, Tabitha and Napoleon] three weeks is quite a while).

Couple Two: Latin ballroom dancer Ashleigh and b-boy Legacy
Contemporary with Garry
Let’s see. I don’t know who this Garry fellow is or what his background’s like, so I’ll have to look into that. This certainly wasn’t “contemporary” as we’ve come to know it on the show, but that’s certainly not a knock. I actually really enjoyed the choreography. I did feel like Legacy and Ashleigh especially weren’t quite doing everything full out, particularly the “up” parts. They weren’t afraid to throw themselves onto the ground, but a lot of the extensions and jumps were held back a bit. They did have great expressions and awesome stamina. Great ending. And it sounds like the judges and I are on the same page here.

Wait what? Solos? Oh yeah, they do that now.

All right, sure: Mollee. Holy crap, how does she not split her jeans doing all those splits and walkovers and crap? I’m impressed.

Russell: I feel really ridiculous critiquing their solos. Of course they’re all gonna be awesome. That’s how they got on the show. But yeah, Russell was great. Except for that bit where he started to eat his shirt.

Couple Three: Contemporary/lyrical dancer Kathryn and contemporary dancer Nathan
Broadway with Spencer
White Christmas music!!! Such a great musical and so often overlooked. I’m gonna have to find a copy of that to watch this winter. This piece was really incredibly awesome. I loved the costumes, I loved the choreography, I loved the expressions and the technique. Just so good. And they did too have chemistry, Nigel. What are you watching?

Noelle: She keeps rolling onto the side of her foot when she’s in releve. Pretty sure that’s bad for your ankles.

Couple Four: jazz dancer Ellenore and contemporary Jakob
Quickstep with Tony and Melanie
Oh crap. Quickstep. Although, surprisingly (since Ellenore doesn’t impress me much normally), the footwork looked pretty good and their jetes were in perfect sync. That’s hard. Not that I would know. Yeah, I’d agree that they did pretty well, although I’d say it quieter than Mary did. Adam, it’s not that big a coincidence that Ashleigh’s partner and Ryan’s partner are partners now (was that really so difficult to understand?) But you know what’s pissing me off? Nigel. Stop thanking the choreographers for “bringing tap back to the program” when you’re the one who kicked off all three tap dancers in the first two (?) weeks.

Ryan: Oh, Ryan. I really don’t like him. I think he’s a cocky jerk, and I think he danced that solo like a cocky jerk, and he didn’t do anything cool.

Kathryn: I like her dress. And, ok, I know this is what they teach you to do and I used to do it myself, but I wish dancers wouldn’t ignore huge hunks of hair stuck to their lipstick. So distracting.

Couple Five: jazz dancer Mollee and krumper Russell
Lyrical jazz with Mandy (Oh! There she is!)
Well, this is gonna sound shallow, but I was wishing during his solo that Russell would take his shirt off. I see he heard me. Yes. Anyways. Mollee is absolutely incredible. Great extensions and, yes, she has certainly grown in maturity. I don’t know how she does it. She certainly stole the show. Russell stepped up, yes, but I also thought he was pretty stiff and nervous. It’s ok, though, because he’s hot too.

Nathan: that was really awesome, but I wish he’d gone with some different facials.

Couple One: Contemporary dancer Noelle and ballroom dancer Ryan
Smooth Waltz with JT and Tomas
Whoops, I didn’t write down one comment. That music was putting me to sleep. I don’t know a thing about the smooth waltz, but that was pretty. Certainly better than that hip hop monstrosity.

Ellenore: she is pretty fun and good at what she does. Not sure about the outfit, and she definitely should have been wearing tights.

Couple Two: Latin ballroom dancer Ashleigh and b-boy Legacy
Hip Hop with Dave
Oh boy. That was…not good. Not a good concept, not good execution. Just not good. Was that supposed to be a vampire-type thing? No, not okay. And there was certainly not great technique. Yeah, Dave didn’t give you complicated steps, but the two of you can’t even STEP at the same time? What is wrong with you? Not impressed.

Couple Three: Contemporary/lyrical dancer Kathryn and contemporary dancer Nathan
Rumba with Tony and Melanie
Wow, I really liked that. I’m sure it wasn’t technically perfect, but it was really fun to watch. And uh…I thought the chemistry was incredible. Once again, Nigel’s watching something else. And Mary. Whatever.

Legacy: how do his arms not snap off? And his head? Geez.

Couple Four: jazz dancer Ellenore and contemporary Jakob
Contemporary with Sonya
Oh, Sonya how I love you. This was brilliant in every way possible. THIS must be what my mom meant when she texted me “wow finally a great one.” Oh my gosh. So many things there looked impossible. Like when he was pushing her across the floor. How is that physically possible? She’s completely fearless and they both did everything to the fullest extent and, as Mary says, then some. And the emotion was flawless. They had absolutely no inhibitions and this was absolutely perfect. Wow. And, hey, the judges agree. Thank goodness.

Ashleigh (good luck following that…): and…yeah. Fail. Although it picks up a bit in the middle and then ends with more fail.

Couple Five: jazz dancer Mollee and krumper Russell
Jive with Anya and Pasha
Yay, more past contestants returning as choreographers! Jive was wonderful, and as Nigel said, it doesn’t even matter that they followed the brilliance of Ellenore and Jakob. I knew Mollee would rock it, and she absolutely did, although she lost a bit of steam toward the end there. Russell really surprised me by being so awesome with the footwork! And props to Mollee for being able to dance with that animal growing on her butt.

Jakob: wasn’t even paying attention. Whoops. I’m sure it was marvelous.

So, bottom three for each? Finally we’re voting for dancers, not for couples.

Boys: Ryan, Legacy, and uh…no, I can only choose two. Sorry.
Girls: Ahleigh and Noelle

See you tomorrow? I promise to actually show up this time.